who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
