dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
