i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
