singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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