About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm like, not good at living.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
