The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
