we have officially lost it.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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