he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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