Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
