You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He keeps bees of course he's weird
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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