Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
