i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
