I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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