you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i drank out of a bidet.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
