dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
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