She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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