I wish you could order shots online.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
