The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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