Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
