we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
