and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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