did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
