I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize