I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
