You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
