is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
