I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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