It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
