How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
