is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
