dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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