This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
