i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
