Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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