Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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