If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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