Three words: puerto rican gang bang
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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