I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
