it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
