ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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