I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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