I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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