The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
