Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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