We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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