i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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