I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
