i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
