Moan for me like Helen Keller
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
