I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
