So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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