she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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