ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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