How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
