legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize