I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
