Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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