I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
