What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
