On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
