There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My hand turned me down
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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