why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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