Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
