She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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