i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize