she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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