false alarm. still invincible.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize