if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
